statistics
- selfies in camera roll14,382
- front camera uptime97.4%
- storage used by face211 GB
- mirrors consulted today0
- average angles per photo4.6
- icloud warnings ignored1,204
achievements
- 📸 ten thousand selfies
- 🪞 mirror loyalty: gold
- ☀️ golden hour purist
- 🤳 single-handed photographer
- 🧴 sunscreen optional
- 📂 storage full, twice
testimonials
"he calls me more than his mother."
— front camera
"i have never seen the back of his head."
— his mirror
"please upgrade your plan."
— icloud
"i don't even point at anything anymore."
— his index finger
about
| occupation | self-portraiture |
| location | wherever the lighting is good |
| hobbies | photography (subject: himself) |
| looking for | a window, ideally |
| relationship | committed (to the front camera) |
| height | varies by angle |